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Thu 2nd May 2019
Packham denies cardboard claim
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TV Presenter Chris Packham has hit back at what he calls “pedlars of fake news and rumour”. This follows reports widely circulating last week that the 58-year-old presenter of TV hits such as Springwatch and The Really Wild Show, had dissolved outside BBC Broadcasting House following a heavy downpour. At a hastily convened press conference, Packham said: “As you can see the rumour that I am made of cardboard is not true. It is one more example of the sort of malicious lie put about by those who oppose the work I do to protect wildlife”. Questioned by journalists as to why he was wearing a wetsuit and his face a grey pinkish colour from which nose and eyebrows were absent, Packham responded that he was suffering from a heavy cold, going on to refute suggestions that he was, in fact, being ‘dried out’. Meanwhile, doctors are confident that they will be able to reconstruct Packham’s flatmate and best friend Mark Avery. Shortly before the Packham incident came news that, following a substantial meal at Donnington Park services on the M1, the heavily overweight bird loving Avery had burst. Now, according to top surgeon Bodkin Adams, they have recovered enough bits to reconstruct Britain’s bulkiest animal rights campaigner. Adams said: “Once we get the winch into the theatre I am confident that we will be able to put Humpty, I mean Mr Avery, back together again”.

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